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Guest Blog from Jessica on WLS and Mental Health

Posted on June 18, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Guest Bloggers 3 Comments

I think it’s important for other perspectives when discussing healthy lifestyle changes therefore this is the first in what I hope to be series of guest blog posts…

Jessica has an interesting story to share, one that is extremely powerful that speaks volumes about how losing weight, regardless of the method used, can literally change someone on the inside just as much as the outside.

We and those who see us tend to get so caught up in the scale and appearance that we forget to pay attention to the real change that happens to us mentally.

Never underestimate the impact that weight-loss has on us as WHOLE people. Feeling hopeful is the first step in being successful.

Jessica’s story…

When I saw the call-out on Andrea’s I’mperfect page asking us to share how our healthy lifestyle has changed us on the outside and on the inside I knew I had to write a post.

My weight loss surgery journey has been a unique one. I have undergone two different surgeries and had a very difficult journey.

My personal journey started on started on July 12, 2010 when I underwent gastric sleeve weight loss surgery as the first step in a “staged” bariatric surgery process. I was too heavy back in 2010, I had a BMI of over 65, my surgeon’s cutoff for to safely undergo gastric bypass was 60. My surgeon also felt that I was on too many medications for my severe anxiety and depression, after being misdiagnosed with bi-polar disorder in 2009. He was concerned that my medications might not be absorbed properly and I would have even more mental health issues. He said that one day I could have the bypass done if I ever got mentally and physically better.

I refuse to believe that I have failed or been unsuccessful with my first surgery. Many people are not aware that the sleeve can often be the first step in a two step process either following with gastric bypass or the duodenal switch. Many others are quick to tell me my sleeve failed me since I had a second surgery. We did the first surgery to get me to a better place physically and a better place mentally so that one day when I was financially able I could undergo the bypass surgery to help get the largest amount of weight off.

My sleeve helped me lose about 50 pounds and go off my diabetes medications. Mentally I went from 7 psychiatric medications to just barely function to being medication free. My sleeve did work, at least to me it did. My first surgery was also a difficult journey. I was hospitalized twice in the first ten months for wanting to seriously hurt myself or even kill myself. I think that’s successful considering I could have been six feet under at this point.

I had my second-step surgery, gastric bypass, on January 14, 2013. I’ve now lost over 100 pounds total through the aid of both surgeries and I am losing more each month but you will rarely see me posting numbers on my blog and Facebook page because it doesn’t define the success of my journey. I embrace everything in my journey and don’t base my success on what the number says. Now I obliviously don’t want the number going up but as long as it is going down who cares if it’s slow. I am so much more than my weight. That is something else I have learned through my journey.

My healthy lifestyle has changed me both inside and out, I became a completely different person.

Inside I mentally changed into a person who loves life and embraces every success that happens to her, weight related or not. My mental change was the biggest undergoing I had; you can just ask anyone who has known me for a long time. I am not even the same person I was three years ago.

I truly wish that mental health was more closely looked at before surgery and after. I was very fortunate that I was able to attend weekly counseling sessions with a psychologist at my bariatric center. I also attended intensive outpatient therapy through a local hospital. However, I do wish I had attended those things prior to any weight loss surgeries and think that others need to be better mentally prepared before undergoing such a big lifestyle change.

I now run my own monthly online support group chat for other weight loss surgery patients and those who are getting ready to undergoing surgery. I want others to be mentally ready as they prepare for their journeys.

Outside I changed too. There is the obvious difference of my size as you can see in my before and “current.” But you can also see the difference about how I care about my appearance: I wear makeup most days and always a smile. You can see self-confidence oozing out of my current photography. You can also see me at the gym and outside running 5Ks. Those are things I never did before weight loss surgery.

Weight loss surgery has changed me all over and I would go through what I went through all over again because I am a changed person and truly love who I’ve become.

You can read my blog Bariatric Beginnings at www.bariatricbeginnings.com.

Brussels Sprouts Chips

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Detox, Food, Ketogenic, Paleo, Sides, Snacks and Apps Leave a comment

Let me start by saying that my husband is a weirdo. He will not eat peppers, onions, cucumbers, tomatoes or mushrooms but he loves roasted broccoli, asparagus and BRUSSELS SPROUTS! Oh, he also like peas too. See what I mean?! Anyway, since his veg tolerance is limited I have to take advantage of what he likes and make it often that’s why we always buy a big bag of Brussels Sprouts when we go to Costco. Fortunately they last a long time in the fridge so we can buy them in bulk and not have to worry about them going to waste. Although we both love Roasted Brussels Sprouts, our favorite part of them are the leaves that fall off in the oven- they get all crispy and crunchy and DEEElicious! So last night I figured, eh, why not just make them on purpose? Hence the following…

Brussels Sprouts Chips!

Ingredients

Brussels Sprouts (*Leaves Removed)

Olive Oil

Kosher Salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degree

Cut the end off of the Brussels Sprouts- Leaves will naturally fall off

Place the leaves in a salad spinner or colander

Rinse the leaves and dry thoroughly

Place the leaves on a baking sheet in a single layer (watch for nesters!) and drizzle with olive oil or if you have an oil sprayer, spray them with the oil. Do not over oil them otherwise they will not get crisp. Also, do not cook them in the oven with anything else otherwise the moisture from what you are also making will not allow them to crisp.

Sprinkle with Kosher Salt to taste

Toss them around with your hands and put them in the oven for about 10 minutes, stirring them every few minutes. If they start to burn remove them from the oven. They should get brown and crispy but should not turn black.

Serve immediately. Enjoy!

*The leaves will shrink significantly so if you plan to feed more than two people you’ll want to make more than one sheet worth!

See?

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The Other Half – A Spouse’s View of Weight Loss Surgery

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Brett Posted in The Other Half, ToH of Marriage, ToH of WLS 10 Comments

First, let me tell you a little of my background. When I was growing up I always felt like I was chubby. I was the kid that wore the “husky” sized pants and had a little pooch of a stomach. I would always (and still do) tug on my shirt when I sat down because I didn’t like that it would hug my midsection, highlighting the pooch. I was always self-conscious about my size even though, looking back, I wasn’t that big. I never got made fun of for being the fat kid, in fact I was pretty well liked in grade school. Girls even used to argue over who got to wear my jacket when they were cold in class, and once, in 4th grade, I even had a little present left on my desk full of love notes from a secret admirer (which I promptly threw away in embarrassment, probably causing irreparable damage to some poor girl’s psyche who now has all kinds of issues with men…I was clueless about girls back then). When I got into high school, I spent one year playing football. While I didn’t really like playing the sport, it taught me how to lift weights. For most of my high school career, I was in decent shape. Then I moved to Indiana when I was 20. This was not a smart move because I was moving for a girl who had decided to move back home without me (I was still clueless about girls). It was about halfway through this 6-year sentence where I really started to pack on the pounds.

With little money (which you may know makes it very difficult to eat healthy), a food-truck at work serving oil-soaked fat in a sugar solution (they called it “meatloaf-dinner”) which I ate every day, and Wendy’s or Long John Silvers (three-piece chicken dinners) every night, which we had to do because our gas had been shut off and we couldn’t cook, I went from about 230 pounds to over 330 lbs. Eventually my sentence was commuted (she moved out of my house and into the house of her online-husband in New York…long story, remind me to tell you sometime, you’ll cringe) and I moved home to Arizona. Living with mom, I had a job and few bills, so I ate out at work every day…at restaurants…ordering dinner-sized meals. During this time I eventually met Andrea and she decided she really liked me so we moved in together. Around this time I was about 350 pounds. We were both fat and we bonded over food. We ate fast food almost every night, we went out to eat, we snacked and ate junk. By the time we had our own house in NC I was up to 362 pounds.This was the heaviest I ever got. Through various diets and lifestyle changes I eventually got down to where I am now, hovering around 320. Andrea, though, had grown to 320, and she decided to have gastric bypass surgery. And that’s what I want to talk about here.

When she first told me that she was planning on having weight loss surgery (WLS) I was not exactly thrilled with the decision. My first issue was that surgery of any type can be dangerous. I was scared of complications, I was afraid she would die on the table, I was afraid she would be in pain, I was afraid it wouldn’t work and that she was gain all her weight back and had put herself through all this for nothing. Those are all real and legitimate fears, but I was also afraid for us. She was going to change her life dramatically and I was not. What if she gets skinny, I stay fat, and she decides not to be married to the fat guy anymore? What if she finds somebody that can go zip-lining in Costa Rica, which I can’t do because those all have weight restrictions, and decides he is the actual love of her life? What if she looks at me and only sees her former miserable self from her old fat life and she decides she can’t be connected to that old life anymore? In other words, WLS will change her relationship to food, will it change her relationship to me too? The answer is: yes.

Guys, if you’re reading this hoping against hope that your significant other’s surgery won’t change things between you, then I’m sorry. Things are going to be different, and if your situation is similar to mine, it’s going to be hard.

You are going to feel left behind: Last year we could talk about how exciting life could be if we were skinny, how we might go hiking, or white-water rafting, or roller-coaster riding. Today she can do all that, I can’t
You are going to lose things in common: Andrea and I used to be able to commiserate about our weight-loss failures over a pizza or bowl of ice cream, now she doesn’t have that failure, so there is no commiserating, there is only her sympathy over my continued fatness.
Your relationship with food will change: If you are the chef in your house, you will have to cook for a WLS patient. If you are not the chef, then the menu just changed. Unless you each cook for yourselves, you’re not going to be eating the same dinners you are used to.
You are going to feel guilty: Every time I take a bite of food that doesn’t work in favor of my weight loss (skittles, chips, etc) I feel guilty for not trying harder, for not trying to get into better shape for my almost-skinny wife. Every bite I take feels like it is putting my one step closer to divorce.
You are going to feel fat: Seeing somebody that is fit is a tough reminder that you are fat. Have you ever sat next to a skinny person on an airplane? Now imagine that every day, but on your couch at home.
You are going to feel like a failure: Unless you are one of those people with a super metabolism, you are going to lose weight slowly. You are going to lose a couple of pounds in a month while your SO sheds pounds every week. This is going to make you feel like a failure, even though you know, you know you are doing fine with your 1-2 pounds per week. You lose perspective on normal weight-loss and it makes it hard to celebrate your 1 pound victory when your spouse just celebrated 5 pounds.
You will get sick of talking about food: This one might be more unique to me, I’m not really sure. In our house, food and exercise are some of the only topics we discuss. My wife is absolutely obsessed with them (she has a website and a Facebook group and everything!). They are her favorite subject. They are not, however, my favorite subject. I like to talk about school and cars and rockets and space and science. These are not her favorite subjects. I already feel like I’m pushing her towards divorce by being fat, so I talk about food and exercise. I try to break into my subjects where possible, but she just tunes out and starts reading Facebook, where everybody in the group is talking about food and fitness (wow, so this point got a little out of control…what were we talking about again?). Anyway, if you aren’t food obsessed, be prepared to fake it.

So those are of the things I’ve experienced as a SOoaWLSP (Significant Other of a Weight Loss Surgery Patient). Maybe your experiences will be different, maybe they will be worse, maybe they will be nothing like this. If so, interesting, sorry, or awesome (depending on which one you have). What I can tell you is that this type of change is not necessarily bad. I know of some friends that either got divorced, or came close to it, because of WLS, and I know that it has put a strain on my marriage (pretty sure we’re going to be fine), but I also know of marriages that withstood the change without issue. I think it’s all in how you approach the changes, because really, when you look at my situation, I’m fat because I am a carboholic who eats too much. I have a very bad relationship with food. Andrea’s WLS has changed the food in our house, it has changed how I look at dinner, it has changed how I look at exercise. I’ve reduced my portions, I’ve stopped eating fast food regularly, I’ve reduced my carb intake (in fact right now, I’m on a ketogenic diet eating less than 50 carbs per day), and I’ve got a plan in motion. Am I doing this because I am afraid if I don’t I might get divorced? Partially, sure. But I’m also doing it because I want to be fit and I want to go do stuff with my wife. I want us to share in those experiences instead of me hearing about them after she gets home.

It’s hard being a SOoaWLSP, but if you embrace the changes it will bring on your life you might find you have a much better relationship, both with food and your significant other, in the end. Good luck

Now Introducing…

Posted on June 5, 2013 by Brett Posted in About ToH 1 Comment

Hi everybody!

So first off, you might notice that the author of this post doesn’t show as Andrea. And that’s true, I’m not (good job noticing, by the way, top-notch awareness there). In fact, I’m Andrea’s husband. You can call me Brett, mostly because that’s my name but also because that’s what I prefer to be called. Over the last few weeks, months, or years, depending on how long you’ve known Andrea, she has been entertaining you with her blog posts. She has made you laugh and cry, cheer and groan, she has revealed to you her deepest private thoughts, regaled you with stories of her struggles and triumphs, and, just maybe, inspired you to start your own journey. She is an amazing person who has an uncanny ability to touch nearly everybody that she comes into contact with.

None of that is changing (admit it, you were nervous where this was going…am I not the only one that thinks that last section is a lead in to something that begins with “Tragically, while on her way home from the store…”?). What’s changing is that she decided she would like her site to offer another perspective besides her own. Unfortunately for all of you, she decided that would come from me. I’m nowhere near as entertaining as she is, my stories are boring (I’m a database analyst for a large financial institution…you just fell asleep reading that), and I’m not planning on becoming a personal trainer or anything. What I can offer is my male-centric experience in the weight-loss journey which is, as most of yours are, ongoing. I can also offer you my take on being a SOoaWLSP (Significant-Other of a Weight Loss Surgery Patient…I think we’re going to need a better acronym). I’ll tell you, it can be trying, especially if you and your SO bonded early in your relationship over food.

Over the next few weeks and months I’ll be posting some blogs from my side, whether that side is being male, a SOoaWLSP, or a fat guy with a wife that is not only getting skinny, but getting stronger than him. Of course, my plan is to be the skinny guy with the skinny wife (of which he is the stronger!) who go and have 1,000 adventures in amazing places, but maybe still sit and watch TV while eating tacos, because tacos…yum (I also started a ketogenic diet a couple of days ago and tacos sound really good right now, where are the almonds?). We’re also planning on starting up a podcast, which you will be able to access right here, and which eventually gets linked to iTunes so you can listen to us (mainly her) when you’re away from your computer. And who knows, maybe some of you will get to be guests on that podcast. Nothing is solid yet, we’re still working out the details.

Anyway, that’s some stuff to look forward to in the near future. If all you’re interested in are Andrea’s blogs (even though it will make me cry…jerk), fear-not, she will continue her blogs the same as always. But if you’re interested in my point of view, or know somebody who might be, send them this way and maybe, as a community, we can all help each other.

Willpower is Bullshit

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Gastric Bypass, Personal Opinions on Random Topics, Self-improvement 1 Comment

“I just ate my willpower”

Ever seen that saying? Like in a framed piece of “art”, on a t-shirt or a bumper sticker? Yeah, me too! In fact my Grandmother use to have little piggie just like this one hanging in her kitchen when I was growing up.

Willpower Definition:

willpower [ˈwɪlˌpaʊə]

1. the ability to control oneself and determine one’s actions

2. firmness of will

I hate that word. What I hate more is the power that that word is given when it comes to diet and exercise and the fact that we put so much stock in our (lack of) willpower and use it as an excuse to fail.

Not once in my weightloss journey have I credited my “willpower” for my success. You want to know why? Because I have none. No seriously. None. If you put a cookie in front of me I’m going to eat it…even if I’m not hungry. Why? Because it tastes good. Because it feels good. Because I know that when I put that cookie in my mouth, my brain will release endorphins and other feel-good (scientific) chemicals into my body that will make me feel happy, even if for only a moment. When that cookie is placed in front of me I might pause for a moment and think to myself, “I shouldn’t eat that. I’ll be mad at myself if I do. That cookie is going to make me fat.” But you know what? Nine times out of ten I’m going to eat it anyway. This was proven two weeks ago and documented for all eternity right here! That’s because according to the definition of “Willpower” I have none. I have no ability to control my actions!

Or do I?

We all know the answer to that is yes. Obviously. We all have the ability to control our actions but for whatever reason we get so caught up in the bullshit of “willpower” that we forget which actions to control.

I talk a lot about setting myself up for success and NOT setting myself up for failure. I preach about this on my I’mperfect Life Facebook page a lot. It’s the whole reason I created My Rules For My Success. If I don’t create boundaries for myself in the right environment with a reasonable routine…I will NOT be successful. This is why I keep healthy foods in my home and avoid buying crap. It’s also why I do crossfit.

If I allow unhealthy foods in my house I WILL eat them. If I don’t sign up for crossfit I will NOT exercise. Period. This is the absolute truth and has been proven time and again.

I eat whatever I want but I don’t eat whatever I want WHENever I want. THAT’S the difference between me now and me 140lbs ago. For instance, I do not keep ice cream in my house. If I did, I would eat it every day. Instead my rule is that if I really want ice cream I have to get up off my butt, drive myself to the frozen yogurt place, go in, squirt the yogurt into a cup, add my toppings, pay the teenager behind the counter, drive home and THEN sit down and enjoy it. Enjoy the ONE serving for which I worked so hard and not have the ability to go back for seconds…because that would be entirely TOO. MUCH. WORK! This is also why I only ever cook enough for ONE serving of every meal I cook. Seconds and thirds of something I love are far too easy to consume and unfortunately my tendency to overeat doesn’t stop at ice cream. I LOVE food. Love it. I love everything about it. I love thinking about it, shopping for it, preparing it, cooking it, sharing it and eating it. That will probably never change. Neither will my ability to resist tempting-foods if they are available.

The same (only the opposite really) goes for exercise. I don’t go to crossfit because I should go, I go because I want to go, just like how I want to eat that cookie! If it didn’t feel good I wouldn’t do it. Seriously. Crossfit gives me the same rush (actually better) as cookies, THAT’S why I go. Not because I am so dedicated or determined or because I have some bullshit willpower. I go because it feels good.

My point is that my “willpower” is only as effective and the environment I create for myself and I truly believe the same holds true for you. Depending on “willpower” in order to succeed is a sure fire way to set ourselves up for failure. Sure, temptation is always going to exist but it doesn’t have to be in your face every second of every day.

So! Don’t keep junk food where it’s accessible but don’t deprive yourself either and find an exercise or activity that you enjoy. Fake it till you make it!

I’mperfect Life Technical Tees

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in I'mperfect Life Merch! 3 Comments

Back by popular demand! I’mperfect Life Technical Tees are on sale for one week only! All orders must be placed no later than Midnight on June 1st, 2013.

These are technical shirts, perfect for working out and getting sweaty! Or just wearing because it looks good! They are high quality athletic shirts made from 100% Ployester with moisture wicking technology! Ideal for MUD RUNS!

Get your shirt today! You’ll look this cool wearing it!

SIZE CHART- Shirts fit true to size.

Women’s shirts are cut for women and men’s shirt are cut for men!

Old Nasty Habits…You Suck!

Posted on May 15, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Gastric Bypass, General Weight Loss, Post-op, Self-improvement 3 Comments

I typically blog when I am feeling good and proud but I also try to blog when things aren’t so great too. They can’t all be puppy dogs and rainbows…

I am currently missing the honeymoon period of Gastric Bypass Surgery. I felt so in control, it was a feeling I’d never felt before. Now that I am 18 months post op all those old feelings, temptations, struggles are back. I have to choose to make the right decisions every minute.

Take this weekend for example. I was stuck in a cabin in the woods from Thursday until Tuesday (mom’s car broke down Sunday) surrounded by foods I do not keep at home and all I did for SIX days was eat and except for the ropes course on Sunday, I haven’t done a lick of exercise.

I was perfectly capable of going for a walk but I didn’t. I could have done some squats or the AB challenge…but I didn’t. I sat on my computer, ate chips and cookies and muffins and crackers and chocolates and fudge and wished I could be at home in my normal routine. I think a lot of that is that I was with my family and that is what we’ve always done. That’s how I grew up, sitting around eating. So that felt like normal. It’s crazy and scary how easily I am sucked back into old ways.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not blaming my family for the “bad foods”. I took plenty of it myself- peanut butter stuffed pretzels are one of my favorite vacation foods. I also took chips and salsa and I bought a 1/2 of fudge and a box of chocolates during our little outing on Saturday. Nothing low carb about any of that! I typically avoid wheat. I know it makes me feel swollen and tight yet I’ve been eating it. I typically go to Crossfit 4-6 times per week. I haven’t done a lick of exercise in six days, except for the 2.5 hour ropes course I did on Sunday. I drank wine and soda and sat on my ass doing NOTHING!

I talk a lot about choices and forgiveness on my facebook page and in our facebook support group because I have come to realize that ultimately, that’s what a healthy lifestyle boils down to. I do not act like I am perfect, in fact, you may have noticed that the name of my blog is “I’mperfect Life”. Wink, wink. For the most part, I make choices I feel good about however, I am not proud of the choices I made this weekend… but I am forgiving myself. I do wish that I had better life-skills to deal with situations like this but I guess old habits are hard to break.

My point is that lifestyle changes ultimately come down to making the right choices and sticking with it. I made poor choices this weekend; I am not proud of them but today I got my ass up, had my protein shake, went to Crossfit, came home had my bacon and eggs…knowing that I AM IN CONTROL. That’s the difference between my mindset now and my mindset 2 years ago.

This past weekend’s ridiculousness does not mean that I have failed. Even though the scale was up two pounds this morning, that doesn’t even mean I have to start over. It just means that I need to get back on track today…DONE!

Gastric Bypass (WLS) and Divorce

Posted on May 7, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Before and After, Gastric Bypass, General Weight Loss, Life, Marriage, Personal Opinions on Random Topics, Post-op 7 Comments

Though I am not looking to leave my husband I do have to admit that I wish things were different…very different. I constantly struggle with how to “deal” with the changes that have taken place in our marriage. I hadn’t realized until about six months post-op that a majority of our relationship was based on being “bad”. We were BOTH overweight. We BOTH liked to eat crap. We BONDED over gluttonous food choices, late night Taco Bell runs, eating entire bags of chips and packages of cookies while watching a movie marathon on our couch. Sad but true…

This is a blog that I’ve been meaning to write for a long time, like a REALLY long time but I’ve put it off, waiting for the right time to express my thoughts and opinions intellectually without too much emotion. So here it goes.

When I decided to have gastric bypass surgery people would ask me and my 350lbs husband, usually at the same time, if he was worried that I would leave him when I lost the weight. This didn’t just happen once or twice, this was a very common question that came from just about everyone we told that I was having surgery. It was usually followed by a statement that was meant to be a compliment to me like, “she’s beautiful now, what’s going to happen when she’s skinny and hot?”

Being the slightly narcissistic person I am, I did take it as a compliment but my husband felt differently about those types of statements. He took it as a direct insult and looking back I can see exactly how and why he would feel that way. In fact, I should have taken it that way too. After all, those kinds of questions and statements make it sound like we were only together because we were both fat- like we were the best the other person could get.

I don’t know statistics but I do have personal experience with friends and friends of friends that have had gastric bypass surgery who ended up in divorce. This does seem to be a common side-effect of losing a significant amount of weight, but why?

I believe it varies based on the individual and the relationship but typically based on one of three factors:

One- The person who loses the weight becomes very focused on themselves. They become obsessed with losing weight, exercising, buying new clothes, changing their hair because for the first time in a very long time, perhaps in their entire life, they are feeling good about the way they look. They begin taking more pride in their appearance and begin getting noticed by others, they start feeling more attractive and desirable. This type of attention is addictive. Everyone wants to feel desired, it’s just a part of who we are as humans, so once that begins to happen we crave it more and more, especially if it has never happened before. That feeling takes over and becomes more powerful than the feelings we have for our spouse and…we end up divorced.

Two- The relationship was not worth maintaining prior to the weight loss but the person who lost the weight didn’t have the self esteem necessary to leave the relationship. In this case, the weight loss is merely the avenue that allows the person to leave. There are other factors that could have the same effect like a new job, a new friend, a large sum of money…anything that makes the person feel empowered and able to leave; no longer dependent on the person they are leaving.

Three- The “other person” gets left behind. Though I think this is probably the least likely reason for divorce after gastric bypass or significant weight loss, it s the one I know the best. This is what is happening in my own marriage.

Before I go any further let me assure you that I am not leaving my husband. I love him very much but I’d be lying if I said that these issues that I’m about to share with you didn’t exist.

When I decided to have gastric bypass surgery, I told my husband that my life was going to change. I told him that I had planned to do the things I had always wanted to do and that as much as I wanted to do them WITH him, I wouldn’t let him stop me if he wasn’t willing/able to do them too.

I had always seen myself as an active person trapped inside a fat body. I wanted to be outdoorsy and adventurous but I wasn’t physically able to do the things I wanted to do. I knew that when I lost the weight, that would all change. The whole reason I decided to have gastric bypass was so I COULD do those things and it worked. If you follow my blog regularly then you know that these days I am pretty fit. I’m not skinny but I am living the life I had always seen for my life.

I am extremely proud of myself and I’m absolutely loving my new lifestyle, however, it has definitely taken a bit of a toll on my marriage. Deep breath…

I often wonder how different things would be if he lost weight too. Would he want to do mud runs with me? Would he being willing to go whitewater rafting? Hiking? Camping? Do Crossfit? He says “yes” but it’s hard to know for sure. All I know is that those are the things I want to share with him. I don’t care about attention from other men. I’m not in a bad relationship that requires improved self-esteem in order to get out. I just want to be able to SHARE my LIFE with my husband.

It’s tough. Really, really, tough but I am being patient. I am living my life the way I want to live it every day, hoping that eventually…SOON? my husband and I will be able to bond at the finish line of a race, over a campfire in the woods or while working out in the gym. I have faith that it WILL happen. Until then I will continue to love my husband and feel grateful to be loved by someone who accepts me just the way I am. When it boils down to any relationship. that is what’s important. That is what we all want. That is what we all need. Andrea and Brett

Ab Challenge

Posted on May 6, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Challenges!, Fitness Leave a comment

It’s time for an I’mperfect Life Ab Challenge! Check it out. Do it. Be amazed…or at least feel great!

Join us HERE!

I’m not going to make ridiculous promises that this challenge will give you rock hard abs but it will definitely strengthen your core and give you a good, quick workout, especially the last week! I promise you will feel these exercises if you’re doing them right!

Check out my YouTube video for the “How To” and get those abs working!

Ab Challenge How To Video

Chicken Salad with Grapes and Almonds

Posted on April 26, 2013 by Andrea @ I'mpefectLife.net Posted in Five Minute Meals, Food, Lunch, Salads 1 Comment

I used some of the chicken from “Meat for the Week” to make this quick lunch. FIVE MINUTES people! FIVE MINUTES! For a delicious, healthy, REAL FOOD, lunch!

Ingredients:

1/2 of a cooked chicken breast from the Meat For the Week, Shredded

1/2 Tbs Greek Yogurt

1/2 Tbs Real Mayo (Salad Dressing/Miracle Whip is full of sugar)

A few grapes, quartered

A pinch or two of Slivered Almonds

A couple handfuls of your favorite lettuce- I one handful of spinach and one of mix greens

Directions:

Combine the chicken, yogurt, mayo and grapes in a bowl- mix well. Push them to the side, then throw in your greens and scoop the chicken on top. (This is the one bowl method because I am lazy and don’t have a dishwasher- you can feel free to mix the chicken salad in a separate bowl…if you wish.) :) Top with slivered almonds. Devour!

Because the chicken is preseason with the garlic powder, onion powder, SnP, there’s no need to add extra ingredients for flavor, but if you have time and aren’t lazy like me, you could always add celery or fresh onion or whatever else you like in your chicken salad. Just promise me you won’t add pickles to THIS recipe, okay?